I want that group of friends

Added: Kalman Bologna - Date: 31.10.2021 11:35 - Views: 23122 - Clicks: 3485

I've already written an article with a lot of more general advice about how to make friends. A more specific question is, "How do you make a group of friends? Here are my thoughts on how to do that:. When it comes to making friends, there's an element of randomness to it. If you do become friends with them, you can't really predict what other social options are going to be unlocked by that. Even if things are totally going your way, friendship groups still take time to come together and solidify.

I want that group of friends

A bunch of people may need to hang out together over several months before they really start to think of themselves as a group. But if you keep at it for long enough, you should be able to form a pretty decent social life for yourself. Over the longer term things work out more in your favor. You'll have enough time, and chances to meet enough people, that you can try to mold the kind of friendship group you'd really like. In the short term though, you can't always create the perfect social circle "to order". Sometimes you'll try to form a group of buddies, and things just won't work out right away.

It can help to keep that in mind and not get discouraged prematurely. This point isn't really a practical piece of advice, but I think it can be useful to remember if, say, you've been in college for three weeks and are already getting frustrated that you don't have an amazing gang of lifelong friends yet. And now for some more actionable suggestions. There are three broad ways you can go about trying to get a group of friends together:. For everyone who's made an individual friend or two already, one route you can try is to meet their friends and see if you can that existing social circle.

If you hang out with someone enough these opportunities tend to come up naturally. Maybe you'll get invited to a big night out and meet everyone all at once. Or maybe a friend or two of theirs will come along when you do something like see a movie. There are also ways you can take the initiative to meet your friend's friends. If you catch wind that they do any kind of group activity together regularly trying new restaurants, cycling, clubbing, etc.

If you're really bursting with initiative you could even plan some sort of party or larger get together yourself. Here it can be important to meet your friend's friends more than once, so they get used to the idea of having you around. You may not have a chance to get to know them all that well after meeting them just one time. For some more detailed advice on what to do when meeting your friend's friends, you may want to check this article out:. Give meeting your friend's friends a couple of tries.

Of course, even after that you may find you still don't really gel with them. We tend to hang out with a variety of people and sub-groups, who speak to different parts of our personality, and they're not all meant to click with each other. If you don't get along with a handful of your friend's friends, that doesn't necessarily mean they've run out of people to introduce you to. Maybe you're friends with a guy because you like to watch movies and discuss intellectual topics together. When he introduced you to his crude drinking buddies it didn't pan out, but you may get get along with his colleagues from the spot where he volunteers.

If you've met your friend's friends, but want to become tighter with them, some of the ideas in this article may help:. A lot of situations are conducive to you meeting a whole bunch of new people at once, and a group forming out of that. This often happens when a situation forces a bunch of people to hang around together for an extended length of time and get to know each other. If you're around the same faces week after week, and you all hit it off, then it's only natural that a group of friends may form from that.

What can also happen is that there's already an existing social circle based around that setting, and all you have to do is it. Like on a sports team some teammates may already get together after every game, and you just need to start going along. This is general friends making advice that also applies here: When you're in these situations, try to organize something that gets everyone outside of the context where you've all met.

For example, if you have a job and have fun joking around with your co-workers, don't just keep things confined to when you see each other at work. Arrange to get drinks at the end of the day, or get together on the weekend. That gets everyone's mentality out of, "This is someone I get along with at work" and changes it to, "This is someone I could be friends with in my 'real' life". If you want to make a group of friends at work or in your class or whatnot, it's also important to be friendly with lots of the people there.

That means taking the time to individually get to know your classmates or colleagues, but also going to where a group gathers and ing in e. If you're at some laidback part-time job with lots of people to meet, but you only regularly chat to one other co-worker, you're not going to form a larger social circle. Of course, when you're friendly with lots of people, not everyone will be receptive to you, but some will.

I also realize this may require a level of outgoingness that not everyone will be up to. Another possibility is:. On the link below you'll find a training series focused on how to feel at ease socially, even if you tend to overthink today. It also covers how to avoid awkward silence, attract amazing friends, and why you don't need an "interesting life" to make interesting conversation. This is the last broad way to do it. Actually now that I think about it, I've gotten a fair of questions about just this sub-topic; "How do I get my friends to hit it off and start hanging out with each other?

I want that group of friends

You could try introducing them to each other one or two at a time, or you could organize a bigger get together and do it all at once. Either way could work. I don't know if there's some magic way to ensure your friends all get along.

Like I said earlier, everyone hangs out with a variety of people, and they're not always compatible with each other, even though they share the commonality of getting along with you. One basic tip is to do little things to break the ice between your friends to get them talking "Katherine, Ellen worked at the same non-profit you did".

If you're introducing one friend to a group, don't leave them to fend for themselves too much. Chat and joke around with them, and let your other friends see the fun dynamic you have, and what you see in them. This is a much more minor point, but when you're alone with your friends, it can also help to talk about your other ones. That way at least they have a vague idea of who your other buddies are, and it's not a total surprise when they meet them.

I think what's more important is doing something with everyone on more than one occasion. For one, after one meeting two people often don't have enough time to really learn much about each other though sometimes they'll hit it off or not jibe with each other pretty quickly.

I want that group of friends

Another thing is that after spending time with each other over multiple outings, it gets everyone thinking along the lines of, "We're a group that often hangs out together. So just keep arranging get togethers where your friends will meet. Things may not fall into place the first time, but it could work out eventually. On occasion two of your friends, who initially didn't get best impression of each other, will start to get along once they've had more time to talk and realize they have more in common than they originally thought. No one's forcing you to do it, but I think people should lean toward trying to introduce their friends to each other, unless they're really sure they wouldn't get along.

It may not work, but there's not a ton of harm in trying. Aside from the benefits you may get from it, your friends will likely appreciate the chance to meet new people and possibly expand their own social circles. Don't be someone who has all these separate clusters of friends, but who's scared to mix them together for fear that it will be awkward, or that they'll get along too well and cut you out of the equation.

A final point is that if you have a group of friends it means you'll often be doing group activities; hanging out at someone's house in a group, going to a pub in a group, going on a road trip as a group, throwing a Frisbee around as a group, and so on.

Sure, a lot of the time you'll have smaller get togethers with a few members, but at least some of the time you'll go to larger events. I guess I'm saying this because sometimes I think people think they want a group of friends, but they're not really into group outings. Their idea of a fun Saturday night isn't hanging out at someone's apartment with eight other people. I think the people who are naturally into that kind of stuff will find each other and quickly form a larger social circle. The people who have more low key tastes will often make two or three similar-minded friends and keep things at that.

It all depends on your personality style. I'm Chris Macleod. I've been writing about social skills for fifteen years.

I want that group of friends

I was shy, awkward, and lonely until my mid-twenties and created this site to be the kind of guide I wish I'd had at the time. I'm trained as a counselor. There's a lot you can do to improve your social skills on your own - I wouldn't have made this site if I thought otherwise.

Though I'm also a therapist and can offer in-depth, personalized help. I'm currently working with clients who live in Ontario, Canada:. Improving Your Overall Personality. Succeed Socially A free guide to getting past social awkwardness. Article continues below SPONSORED Free training: "How to double your social confidence in 5 minutes" On the link below you'll find a training series focused on how to feel at ease socially, even if you tend to overthink today.

About the author I'm Chris Macleod. More About Me Contact Me. One-on-one support There's a lot you can do to improve your social skills on your own - I wouldn't have made this site if I thought otherwise. Making Friends. Developmental Differences. The Process Of Improving. Getting Drained Easily. The Idea Of Having to Change. Not Fitting Into The Norm. New Articles. Search the site. Please do not copy, reproduce, or translate any articles without permission.

I want that group of friends

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How To Make A Group Of Friends